At the peak of my illness, I invariably had delusions of being knocked down, physically and mentally and not getting back up, like my body was cemented to the ground by crippling negativity and overwhelming judgment. It didn’t need to be vocalised by anyone it could be a random thought or a change in routine but depression always won and to this day my subconscious mind is on one knee conceiving a reason to stand up. Another musing I had quite frequently if I had a bad day which was more often than not would be me looking down the barrel of a gun, many years have past and the realisation of who was holding the gun has just recently occurred to me, perceptibility is staggering, it was ME. The fear of the barrel clouded any reason for caring who was behind it, but now, coping with the illness I can piece together the significance of this dangerously designed thought. These Phantom remnants will always be with me but now I understand why they occur and how to control them when they arise.
The mind is a gullible and corruptible organ, as powerful as it is, third-party impressions can poison the mind, leaving it vulnerable and paranoid, more so in individuals with mental health illnesses. As a collective, we renounce to overthinking and actively concentrate on any possible negative or antagonistic thoughts and are unwilling to comprehend rationality, although this isn’t a choice we have due to these detrimental disorders it can be controlled and contained with practiced techniques. Quality of life is a right for anyone even if you think you deserve it or not, you just need to want it and embrace it more than you unwittingly embrace the darkness.
Sorry, it’s been a while since my last post, I’m pushing on the advertising without any luck but I’ll enthusiastically continue this endeavour. If anyone can help with the aforementioned issue or with funding please let me know, even a little goes a long way. As always keep viewing, follow and share on all social media, there’s so much to come and be mentioned!
Until next time, over and out.