Scene 8: Panic Room

I’d like to share my experiences regarding anxiety, this issue is extremely common and can occur without warning at any time. One instance comes to mind when driving home from work, I was taking in the beautiful Scottish scenery and before I knew it this image of my daughter lying dead in a church appeared in my mind. My first reaction was a complete terror as this is my one and only fear and at that point, it was a reality, tears were streaming down my face and I was gasping for air. This continued for the remainder of the journey, at least two hours of complete mental agony and horror. Even after a few phone calls to inquire about my daughter the imagery was already cauterised into my head, and to this day it was the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had.

By the time I got home, my breathing was uncontrollable and I started to get pains in my chest and arms, so obviously the condition of the old ticker came into play. After a call for an ambulance, I was taken to the hospital and was diagnosed with extreme anxiety and was told I had a massive panic attack, in a way, I was kind of relieved and embarrassed at the same time. Looking back I’m angry at myself for being embarrassed, it’s not as if I was faking it for attention, I was genuinely worried about my health and obviously curious to find out why I had musings of my daughters demise.

I have had a few small episodes since then but nothing as epic due to a few techniques I’ve acquired. You might laugh at this one but I call it image ignition, so basically if I get an unsavoury thought or idea I think of an image that attributes to this said thought, could be a person, old memory or a place. I proceed to burn the image as if it’s happening right in front of me, so you’re visualising the flames and watching the mental image being incinerated. Yeah I know it sounds strange but it works for me. Another method is less eccentric one and more obvious, breathing control is a must in many cases of mental illness as it calms the body and mind. So the way I calm myself down is by inhaling to the lungs capacity and hold for a few seconds then exhale, but it is a controlled exhalation so don’t force it out, even count the seconds and with every breath slow it down so the exhalation is longer each time.

Please remember I’m not a professional and these posts are my opinions alone. If you have any problems please contact me. Hopefully, this has been informative.

Take care and over and out..

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